![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
The Red bloat cometh, and with it cometh the usual round of bathroom didoes, and that's all I'm going to say on the matter. Bleagh.
I watched the premiere of Top Chef Masters last night. I'm disappointed with the format, which reduces the show to a more marquee version of Food Network Challenge. Part of the appeal of the original Chef is that it forces thirteen people to live together during the competition, and you can thereby get an idea of their personalities. By having twenty-four chefs competing in fours with three eliminations per show, they've (a)cheapened the suspense and (b)pandered to pampered foodie prima donnas who can't be assed to truly rise to the challenge by putting their careers and lives on hold. I know they're bighshot chefs with restaurants that rake in the cash, but so what? Some of the non-elite contestants were chefs and restaurateurs, too, and they took the risk, a risk that was likely greater for them because they didn't have their overblown reputation to fall back on if the business tanked in their absence. I guess a millionaire's livelihood matters more than that of a lowly chef like Fabio, who was making a decent living. Whereas the regular contestants lost six to eight weeks of their lives, these lofty "masters" will only have to show up once in six weeks, and twice more after that? My heart, it bleeds for them.
The judging scale is beyond moronic. A star scale? How very kindergarten. Yes, I know restaurants are rated on such a scale, but the presentation of the stars is like a bad kindergarten awards ceremony where every kid gets a certificate, even the one who shoved the elbow macaroni up his nose. "You earned...(lame dramatic pause)...three stars." Who cares? Judge One just said his food tasted like freeze-dried goat balls. I'll translate that to Sane Folk for you: It sucked. So how the hell did it earn three stars? Because the freeze-dried goat balls were pretty on the plate?
And the critics acting as judges are a motley band of self-important goots. Gael Whatserface looks like Gloria Swanson in a wind tunnel. If I hear "flavor profile" one more time, I'm going to call Bobby Flay and beg him to smug them to death.
Stupid show, but I'm rooting for Hubert Keller. He might be so out of touch with reality that he thinks microwave ovens are for drying newspapers, but he still has enough gentle whimsy to create tiny white chocolate mice for a children's dessert. Plus, he had the ingenuity to make prawn macaroni and cheese with a hotplate and the communal shower in a Pomona College dorm.
Speaking of Bobby Flay, I watched the second-season premiere of The Next Food Network Star on Sunday. I hope a house crashes through the ceiling at Whole Foods and pancakes Debbie Lee. What a lying, simpering cooze. How else to describe a woman who forgot and/or substituted her team's ingredients to save money, made "an executive"(and dreadful)decision about a formerly agreed-upon team dessert, and claimed that it was a "mutual group decision" at the judging when it blew up in their faces? Way to throw your team under the bus to save your own incompetent ass, you dithering, stoner Margaret Cho impersonator. I hope they return the favor should the opportunity arise.
I watched the premiere of Top Chef Masters last night. I'm disappointed with the format, which reduces the show to a more marquee version of Food Network Challenge. Part of the appeal of the original Chef is that it forces thirteen people to live together during the competition, and you can thereby get an idea of their personalities. By having twenty-four chefs competing in fours with three eliminations per show, they've (a)cheapened the suspense and (b)pandered to pampered foodie prima donnas who can't be assed to truly rise to the challenge by putting their careers and lives on hold. I know they're bighshot chefs with restaurants that rake in the cash, but so what? Some of the non-elite contestants were chefs and restaurateurs, too, and they took the risk, a risk that was likely greater for them because they didn't have their overblown reputation to fall back on if the business tanked in their absence. I guess a millionaire's livelihood matters more than that of a lowly chef like Fabio, who was making a decent living. Whereas the regular contestants lost six to eight weeks of their lives, these lofty "masters" will only have to show up once in six weeks, and twice more after that? My heart, it bleeds for them.
The judging scale is beyond moronic. A star scale? How very kindergarten. Yes, I know restaurants are rated on such a scale, but the presentation of the stars is like a bad kindergarten awards ceremony where every kid gets a certificate, even the one who shoved the elbow macaroni up his nose. "You earned...(lame dramatic pause)...three stars." Who cares? Judge One just said his food tasted like freeze-dried goat balls. I'll translate that to Sane Folk for you: It sucked. So how the hell did it earn three stars? Because the freeze-dried goat balls were pretty on the plate?
And the critics acting as judges are a motley band of self-important goots. Gael Whatserface looks like Gloria Swanson in a wind tunnel. If I hear "flavor profile" one more time, I'm going to call Bobby Flay and beg him to smug them to death.
Stupid show, but I'm rooting for Hubert Keller. He might be so out of touch with reality that he thinks microwave ovens are for drying newspapers, but he still has enough gentle whimsy to create tiny white chocolate mice for a children's dessert. Plus, he had the ingenuity to make prawn macaroni and cheese with a hotplate and the communal shower in a Pomona College dorm.
Speaking of Bobby Flay, I watched the second-season premiere of The Next Food Network Star on Sunday. I hope a house crashes through the ceiling at Whole Foods and pancakes Debbie Lee. What a lying, simpering cooze. How else to describe a woman who forgot and/or substituted her team's ingredients to save money, made "an executive"(and dreadful)decision about a formerly agreed-upon team dessert, and claimed that it was a "mutual group decision" at the judging when it blew up in their faces? Way to throw your team under the bus to save your own incompetent ass, you dithering, stoner Margaret Cho impersonator. I hope they return the favor should the opportunity arise.
