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When I told Roomie that I was euthanizing my Flack/Stanhope plotbunnies with some Ever-Night carrots, he got pissed. Now, Roomie has no emotional investment in my fic and doesn't read it, but he does know how happy playing dress-up in this fictional universe has made me, and he couldn't understand why I'd surrender it to some dickweed with a Sharpie fetish and no damn sense. He told me I was committing bunny murder because I was too sadsack and lazy to think outside the box.
Well, he was right. If I'm as creative as I like to think I am, there has to be a way around this sucking vortex of plot stupidity. So, I brainstormed with him in the shower and at the bus stop, and we came up with two scenarios:
Scenario the First: Rebecca assumes the identity of Devon Happy Plastic Tits by dint of Polyjuice and assorted magical glamors. She masquerades as said rich socialite to help Flack investigate the evil robbers.
Pros-My crackverse stays alive and viable and can still be integrated with show canon. There are multiple opportunities for angst including Rebecca's fear that Flack prefers her in her new, unbroken body and won't be attracted to her after the operation is over.
Likewise, Flack would fret that she wouldn't be able to adjust to their old life once she'd gotten a taste of life in the fast lane.
Cons: There are two gaping problems with this scenario. If I pursue this route, The Class Reunion and Full Confession of Rebecca Flack nee Stanhope must needs be stricken from my canon, as Flack would have to know of her magical abilities 6-8 months before those events, and long before his son was conceived. Rendering an entire fic moot to accommodate an air-headed debutante who may never appear again doesn't appeal.
It would also be constrained by time. If S4 kicks off in June TV-time, Rebecca would need to be Rebecca again by October TV-time, since Junior was conceived then, and I suspect that Polyjuice is forbidden to pregnant women as a safeguard against miscarriage and birth defects. I don't trust TPTB not to trot Airhead out again for February or May sweeps...
Scenario the Second:
Miss Happy Plastic Tits is actually an undercover op helping Flack investigate the robbers. Rebecca knows what he's up to, but is really, really not OK with him pretending to love someone else. To keep his cover, he moves Rebecca out of their apartment under the pretense of a marriage-ending fight. She tries to keep a stiff upper lip about it all, but seeing her husband on the arm of a gorgeous socialite is too much, so she accepts an offer to teach for a semester at Cal-Sci and flees to Los Angeles.
Flack is, of course, wracked with guilt about what he's done to her in the name of his job, and he tries to soothe them both with long-distance phone calls until the job is over and he can race to California to get his girl.
Pros: Angst, oh, angst. And a trip to Numb3rsland with Charlie and company. It would also explain why Flack is boning around on his wife.
Cons: It would be difficult to explain how Junior was conceived in October if they're apart by June or July. I suppose I could have her return to NY for a math conference and thereby set up an awkward meeting between the "ex" and his "new love" while Flack wants to eat his gun for putting them through this. They could sneak off for some riverside loving, conceive Junior, and return to the charade, unaware of the seed they'd planted. This scenario is much more flexible, though it would bugger Wonderland in the ass, and it is open-ended. If Happy Tits falls by the wayside by season's end, then the job is done, and he gets his girl and his family back. If she becomes a permanent fixture, then they gradually drift apart, and Flack would always live with the guilt of hurting her so deeply. Maybe they'd run into each other at Junior's high school graduation, and he'd apologize for screwing things up so badly, try to say that he loved her still in his way.
The second is more likely, but what do you guys think?
Well, he was right. If I'm as creative as I like to think I am, there has to be a way around this sucking vortex of plot stupidity. So, I brainstormed with him in the shower and at the bus stop, and we came up with two scenarios:
Scenario the First: Rebecca assumes the identity of Devon Happy Plastic Tits by dint of Polyjuice and assorted magical glamors. She masquerades as said rich socialite to help Flack investigate the evil robbers.
Pros-My crackverse stays alive and viable and can still be integrated with show canon. There are multiple opportunities for angst including Rebecca's fear that Flack prefers her in her new, unbroken body and won't be attracted to her after the operation is over.
Likewise, Flack would fret that she wouldn't be able to adjust to their old life once she'd gotten a taste of life in the fast lane.
Cons: There are two gaping problems with this scenario. If I pursue this route, The Class Reunion and Full Confession of Rebecca Flack nee Stanhope must needs be stricken from my canon, as Flack would have to know of her magical abilities 6-8 months before those events, and long before his son was conceived. Rendering an entire fic moot to accommodate an air-headed debutante who may never appear again doesn't appeal.
It would also be constrained by time. If S4 kicks off in June TV-time, Rebecca would need to be Rebecca again by October TV-time, since Junior was conceived then, and I suspect that Polyjuice is forbidden to pregnant women as a safeguard against miscarriage and birth defects. I don't trust TPTB not to trot Airhead out again for February or May sweeps...
Scenario the Second:
Miss Happy Plastic Tits is actually an undercover op helping Flack investigate the robbers. Rebecca knows what he's up to, but is really, really not OK with him pretending to love someone else. To keep his cover, he moves Rebecca out of their apartment under the pretense of a marriage-ending fight. She tries to keep a stiff upper lip about it all, but seeing her husband on the arm of a gorgeous socialite is too much, so she accepts an offer to teach for a semester at Cal-Sci and flees to Los Angeles.
Flack is, of course, wracked with guilt about what he's done to her in the name of his job, and he tries to soothe them both with long-distance phone calls until the job is over and he can race to California to get his girl.
Pros: Angst, oh, angst. And a trip to Numb3rsland with Charlie and company. It would also explain why Flack is boning around on his wife.
Cons: It would be difficult to explain how Junior was conceived in October if they're apart by June or July. I suppose I could have her return to NY for a math conference and thereby set up an awkward meeting between the "ex" and his "new love" while Flack wants to eat his gun for putting them through this. They could sneak off for some riverside loving, conceive Junior, and return to the charade, unaware of the seed they'd planted. This scenario is much more flexible, though it would bugger Wonderland in the ass, and it is open-ended. If Happy Tits falls by the wayside by season's end, then the job is done, and he gets his girl and his family back. If she becomes a permanent fixture, then they gradually drift apart, and Flack would always live with the guilt of hurting her so deeply. Maybe they'd run into each other at Junior's high school graduation, and he'd apologize for screwing things up so badly, try to say that he loved her still in his way.
The second is more likely, but what do you guys think?
