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In Which LOTR Becomes the Dating Game
I watched ROTK EE today. I could've said this about TTT as well, but damn, is Denethor an unrivaled douchelord. Spineless, selfish, paranoid, arrogant, and vicious to his younger son, presumably because he wasn't manly man man enough. I know his mind was poisoned and warped by a palantir, but there had to be some root of ugliness in him to begin with. How he turned out two fine sons like Faramir and Boromir, I don't know.
While I would happily bone Eomer, Legolas, or Haldir, Faramir is no slouch, and of all the men, I think he and I would have been most compatible in terms of personality. Quiet, bookish, interested in history, not especially enamored of dick-waving but willing to scrabble if need be. Legolas is so pretty, but the movie makes him look dumb as a box of hair.
On the other hand, he's an elf, so he'd be absolutely faithful if he ever decided wheeled loving was his thing. I think I could live with dumb if he treated me well and put out on a semi-regular basis.
And he might not be the hottest Rohirrim, but I love Gamling.
Speaking of dumb as a box of hair, I finally realized that it's Helm's Deep, not Helms. Oops. I'll have to fix that in the previous parts of Mercies before I post Part III.
While I would happily bone Eomer, Legolas, or Haldir, Faramir is no slouch, and of all the men, I think he and I would have been most compatible in terms of personality. Quiet, bookish, interested in history, not especially enamored of dick-waving but willing to scrabble if need be. Legolas is so pretty, but the movie makes him look dumb as a box of hair.
On the other hand, he's an elf, so he'd be absolutely faithful if he ever decided wheeled loving was his thing. I think I could live with dumb if he treated me well and put out on a semi-regular basis.
And he might not be the hottest Rohirrim, but I love Gamling.
Speaking of dumb as a box of hair, I finally realized that it's Helm's Deep, not Helms. Oops. I'll have to fix that in the previous parts of Mercies before I post Part III.