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Public Enemies and Ice Age 3--SPOILERS
I've just paid my pound of flesh to the utility company and want to weep. The utility rates here are stupefying. My pain continues tomorrow with the payment of the phone bill and the day after that with the tithing of the great god Comcast, without whom I am a disconsolate panda. On the bright side, it'll all be over on Wednesday, and I can budget for my weekly leisure outing, which usually constitutes a trip to the movies.
I've seen eleven movies in 2009, the most recent today's Ice Age 3: Dawn of the Dinosaurs. The plot was rather threadbare even for kiddie fare, but it was a stupidly enjoyable way to kill ninety minutes. I have a soft spot for curmudgeonly Diego and perpetually thwarted Scrat, and Simon Pegg was a hoot as a deranged weasel named Buck. Manny's neuroses are beginning to grate, however, and Sid...
Look, there are lovable idiots, who endear even as they create absolute mayhem, and then there are reckless morons who deserve to be shat from the bowels of any reasoning universe. Sid is not a lovable idiot. He's a rank sloth nugget so foul even the T-rex won't eat him. His hijinks aren't cute or sympathetic, acts of genuine confusion that elicit sympathy. They're acts of bovine stupidity so incredible that even the mentally impaired can do nothing but roll their eyes to the point of retinal detachment.
Dear Sid,
You have, presumably, a set of bangers and mash under your fur. Ergo, you cannot be a mommy, and certainly not to three baby Tyranosaurs. You can be a daddy, though your ability to parent is dubious at its charitable best. Anyone who can't locate their own pecker with both hands and two goggling, protuberant eyes isn't the most observant chap and shouldn't be entrusted with the care of rambunctious infants possessed of a predator's instincts and very sharp teeth.
Me
I also could've lived sans Scratte, who added nothing to the Scrat subplot and actually diluted the experience. She made a dreadful Roadrunner to Scrat's Wile E. Coyote, and I'd just as soon never see her insipid, swishing tail again. Sadly, since she had Scrat's beloved acorn by movie's end, I fear I have no choice.
The babies were cute, however, especially Peaches, whose cooing joy at the snow underneath her feet was adorable.
C+, and more enjoyable than Public Enemies, which was an incomplete, oddly sparse, plodding affair.
Johnny was great, but after seeing it billed as the cinematic showdown between Dillinger and the dogged FBI agent, Melvin Purvis, I felt shortchanged. Bale's appearances were brief, threaded among long tracts of Dillinger's love affair with Billy Frischette and his friendship with Red. Purvis was incidental to the plot, a foil to Dillinger's grandiose plans to escape to Brazil with Billy. They share two scenes, and in one of them, Dillinger is dead. That a gangster movie transmogrified into an angsty schmoop fest was disappointing, but there was a fair bit of gunplay and swaggering Dillinger bravado to keep it watchable.
The soundtrack, in my opinion, was fantastic.
B- for the "artistic merit", but C- on the enjoyability scale.
Movies Left to See:
-Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
-G-Force
-Aliens in the Attic
-Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs
-Where the Wild Things Are
-Halloween 2
-G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra
I've seen eleven movies in 2009, the most recent today's Ice Age 3: Dawn of the Dinosaurs. The plot was rather threadbare even for kiddie fare, but it was a stupidly enjoyable way to kill ninety minutes. I have a soft spot for curmudgeonly Diego and perpetually thwarted Scrat, and Simon Pegg was a hoot as a deranged weasel named Buck. Manny's neuroses are beginning to grate, however, and Sid...
Look, there are lovable idiots, who endear even as they create absolute mayhem, and then there are reckless morons who deserve to be shat from the bowels of any reasoning universe. Sid is not a lovable idiot. He's a rank sloth nugget so foul even the T-rex won't eat him. His hijinks aren't cute or sympathetic, acts of genuine confusion that elicit sympathy. They're acts of bovine stupidity so incredible that even the mentally impaired can do nothing but roll their eyes to the point of retinal detachment.
Dear Sid,
You have, presumably, a set of bangers and mash under your fur. Ergo, you cannot be a mommy, and certainly not to three baby Tyranosaurs. You can be a daddy, though your ability to parent is dubious at its charitable best. Anyone who can't locate their own pecker with both hands and two goggling, protuberant eyes isn't the most observant chap and shouldn't be entrusted with the care of rambunctious infants possessed of a predator's instincts and very sharp teeth.
Me
I also could've lived sans Scratte, who added nothing to the Scrat subplot and actually diluted the experience. She made a dreadful Roadrunner to Scrat's Wile E. Coyote, and I'd just as soon never see her insipid, swishing tail again. Sadly, since she had Scrat's beloved acorn by movie's end, I fear I have no choice.
The babies were cute, however, especially Peaches, whose cooing joy at the snow underneath her feet was adorable.
C+, and more enjoyable than Public Enemies, which was an incomplete, oddly sparse, plodding affair.
Johnny was great, but after seeing it billed as the cinematic showdown between Dillinger and the dogged FBI agent, Melvin Purvis, I felt shortchanged. Bale's appearances were brief, threaded among long tracts of Dillinger's love affair with Billy Frischette and his friendship with Red. Purvis was incidental to the plot, a foil to Dillinger's grandiose plans to escape to Brazil with Billy. They share two scenes, and in one of them, Dillinger is dead. That a gangster movie transmogrified into an angsty schmoop fest was disappointing, but there was a fair bit of gunplay and swaggering Dillinger bravado to keep it watchable.
The soundtrack, in my opinion, was fantastic.
B- for the "artistic merit", but C- on the enjoyability scale.
Movies Left to See:
-Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
-G-Force
-Aliens in the Attic
-Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs
-Where the Wild Things Are
-Halloween 2
-G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra