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I never did fic last night. I wound up watching Nashville Star(and marveling that the lone black contestant dodged the racism of many "traditional" country fans; I'm not sure he'll be so lucky next week since John Rich was such a snarky douche to him. Maybe he'll get lucky because the obese chick who blew the doors off last week imploded with her dire imitation of Aretha Franklin and Mariah Carey's throttle-throated love child.). One thing I've learned from the show is that vocal talent is largely irrelevant as long as you're hot or cute. How else to explain the inclusion of Melissa Lawson in the bottom two after her outstanding performance of Bonnie Raitt's "Somethin' to Talk About", or the continued existence of Justin Gaston? Even John Rich is befuddled by his presence on the show. Jewel likes him, but I think Jewel is thinking with her bearded clam. If it were all about talent, Melissa Lawson, Pearl Heart, Charles Coffey, Tommy Stanley, and Gabe Garcia would be the only contestants.
Under no circumstances will we discuss Shawn Mayer's horrifying "stuck my head in this here washtub and gargled until the lyrics shot out my ass" rendition of "He Stopped Loving Her Today". Contestants who venture near such sacred country standards without the requisite talent to sing them should have their blaspheming mouths Bondo'ed shut with horse shit.
I'm not surprised Third Town got the ax. I liked their harmonies, but I knew their golden-age, retro song choices were going to bite them in the ass. Is it just me, or is there a rich irony in John Rich, Mr. "Music Should Have No Boundaries", telling Third Town that their three-vocalist style is too non-traditional for country?
And oh, my God, I've just spent several paragraphs holding forth on the countrified version of American Idol. I'm officially losing my mind.
Well, it was either that or rattle on about Miss Piggy as the prototypical domestic abuser...
Under no circumstances will we discuss Shawn Mayer's horrifying "stuck my head in this here washtub and gargled until the lyrics shot out my ass" rendition of "He Stopped Loving Her Today". Contestants who venture near such sacred country standards without the requisite talent to sing them should have their blaspheming mouths Bondo'ed shut with horse shit.
I'm not surprised Third Town got the ax. I liked their harmonies, but I knew their golden-age, retro song choices were going to bite them in the ass. Is it just me, or is there a rich irony in John Rich, Mr. "Music Should Have No Boundaries", telling Third Town that their three-vocalist style is too non-traditional for country?
And oh, my God, I've just spent several paragraphs holding forth on the countrified version of American Idol. I'm officially losing my mind.
Well, it was either that or rattle on about Miss Piggy as the prototypical domestic abuser...
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