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I've been up since 9AM, which means that by 9PM, I'll likely be flirting shamelessly with my bed. However, I will fortify myself shamelessly with tea if I must because Sci-Fi is showing Miner's Slaughter tonight. With a catchy title like that, I predict the movie will contain the following:
-One group of Pot/crack/E-addled teenagers or college students who will stumble upon the miner's cave and decide to use it for a groovy party pad/fuck nest. They will blithely ignore the rotting mineshafts, filth, carcinogens, and spiders the size of VW Jettas, as well as the terrifying local legend of the vengeful miner.
-One local legend, which will recount the horrible tragedy of the miner who was left to die by cowardly colleagues. Miner will inevitably be either a complete saint or an utter blackguard. Whichever he was, he is righteously pissed now, and passes his eternity hacking up unwary teenagers who use his cave as a loveshack(loveshack, baby). Most will scoff at the legend and traipse off to screw. Shortly after the first Trojan wrapper hits the dirt, the killing will start.
-One whiny girl who will believe the legend. She will whine and quail and start at every sound until the other teens are tempted to bash out her brains, fill her mouth with lye, and bury her in the mine. She will likely be one of two survivors, the other being Hunky Male Lead With No Outdoor Skills and Socks in His Jeans.
-One ludicrous climactic scene, in which Hunky Male Lead, who has heretofore demonstrated the cognitive ability of oatmeal and the survival skills of a Republican Congressman, engages in a Conan-esque pickaxe battle with the miner. Despite having years of more experience, the miner will be bested and beheaded by HML. Climactic scene will also include dynamite and a harrowing ride in a coal car with the miner in pursuit and the tracks damaged ahead.
I managed 1,122 words of Part II of my![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
lyric_ficathon fic.
-One group of Pot/crack/E-addled teenagers or college students who will stumble upon the miner's cave and decide to use it for a groovy party pad/fuck nest. They will blithely ignore the rotting mineshafts, filth, carcinogens, and spiders the size of VW Jettas, as well as the terrifying local legend of the vengeful miner.
-One local legend, which will recount the horrible tragedy of the miner who was left to die by cowardly colleagues. Miner will inevitably be either a complete saint or an utter blackguard. Whichever he was, he is righteously pissed now, and passes his eternity hacking up unwary teenagers who use his cave as a loveshack(loveshack, baby). Most will scoff at the legend and traipse off to screw. Shortly after the first Trojan wrapper hits the dirt, the killing will start.
-One whiny girl who will believe the legend. She will whine and quail and start at every sound until the other teens are tempted to bash out her brains, fill her mouth with lye, and bury her in the mine. She will likely be one of two survivors, the other being Hunky Male Lead With No Outdoor Skills and Socks in His Jeans.
-One ludicrous climactic scene, in which Hunky Male Lead, who has heretofore demonstrated the cognitive ability of oatmeal and the survival skills of a Republican Congressman, engages in a Conan-esque pickaxe battle with the miner. Despite having years of more experience, the miner will be bested and beheaded by HML. Climactic scene will also include dynamite and a harrowing ride in a coal car with the miner in pursuit and the tracks damaged ahead.
I managed 1,122 words of Part II of my
lyric_ficathon fic.Tags: