COVID-19 Lockdown, Day 118

15,300 cases in Florida in a single day. But sure, I should've come down there to ride out quarantine hell with the family, which would've meant being stuck in one place in the house for hours at a stretch and listening to Fox News. No, thank you. Quarantine here might be boring as hell, but at least I can choose my own misery instead of having it inflicted upon me.

I peeped my mother's Facebook in hopes that Trump's gross ineptitude and brazen indifference to the COVID-19 crisis had persuaded her that voting for him was a mistake, but no such luck. She's still ride or die for that "good Republican businessman" and his white classy family, and she's showing her racist ass all over with "Black Beans Matter" memes. It's disheartening when you confront the reality that the family who raised you are not just stupid, but terrible. I've never liked my mother very much, and I've always known she was prejudiced, but these past few years have exposed just hows deeply her racism runs. It's not just the reflexive parroting of the racist canards both my maternal grandparents embraced as inviolate truisms; it's active and malignant. She would clutch her pearls and hotly deny it, but I don't think she sees Black people as people, much less equals. Knowing your mother is a dumb asshole who will never forgive you for being disabled is one thing, but realizing she would likely volunteer to bring the green beans to a lynching shifts the foundations of your world.