Can I Turn in My Woman Card Yet?

It's That Time of the Month, and lo, I am miserable. Everything from the batwing doors to the aft porthole hurts, and so I look like a desert vulture trying to shit out a hot rock. The Aleve used to knock it right out, but these last few cycles, it's been all but utterly ineffective. I am not a fan of this development. If I have to live like this for the next eight years, I might as well roll of the end of the nearest pier.