Adventures in Linguistic Review

I rageguit duolingo today. I don't know what cracked algorithm it uses, but oh, my God. I was working on Spanish and was told to write "He never runs" in Spanish. So I wrote, "El(with the accent)no corre nunca." Bzzt, said the algorithm. "FUCK YOU!" I replied with my customary erudition. What was it looking for? "El corre jamas." What? I have never heard that construction in spoken Spanish unless it was something the subject had never done before or never intended to do again. When I heard "Blah blah blah jamas", it meant somebody no longer did X, not that they never did it. So, I foamed at the mouth and logged out before I exploded. And if they're really going to insist on the jamas construction, they why isn't it "No....jamas"

And the test also featured this sentence:

"Tampoco es una naranja."

But...why isn't it "No es una naranja tampoco" or "No es ninguna naranja tampoco"? Spanish usually requires the double negative.

And then there was, "Estoy totalmente cansado". "I'm totally tired" makes no fucking sense, so I wrote, "I'm totally beat." Bzzzzt. Get fucked, you stuffy, pedantic piece of bilingual bullshit.

But whatever. I threw up my hands and logged out before I donkey-punched my monitor, and now I'm going to read some Poirot.