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I really should review Keith R.A. DeCandido's latest Supernatural tie-in, Heart of the Dragon. There is plenty of note in the book, good and bad, and it deserves mention, but the Red Bloat is imminent, and so, I have the initiative and stamina of a garden slug. What energy I did have was spent on navigating the Idiot Run that is Walmart.
I know that not everyone who shops at Walmart is a slavering moron, but if pressed by a tribunal of the cultural inquisition, I would confess that stupidity and gross inconsideration for others exist within its spacious aisles in toxic concentrations. I was there for half an hour and witnessed the following incidents:
-As we drove into the lot, there was a minor logjam at the entrance, as an elderly man with mobility issues was struggling out of the passenger seat of his car. After he finally emerged and tottered inside, his companion drove off. Logjam over, right? Ha. The car in front of us moved up a foot and stopped. Why? To let out its passenger as well, a passenger who spryly sauntered into the store.
The passenger in the second car was so damn lazy that they made the driver wait five minutes and pull up so that she could be spared the dreadful inconvenience of walking...a foot. And I'm the lazy, entitled one?
-A four-year-old boy walked headlong into a price-checker pole. BONG. Mind, this isn't a small, slender pole, hewn of ash and tucked discreetly out of sight amid the feminine unmentionables aisle, but a giant, looming steel girder positioned directly in the center of the aisle. BONG. Amazingly, the child was no worse for wear, and when his grandmother explained that the pole held a price checker, he cheerfully chirped, "So you gotta buy me now, Gramma?"
-I was cut off twice by people who couldn't be assed to look as they emerged from an aisle and were shocked, shocked that someone might be rolling down one of the store's main thoroughfares. I nearly received a purse to the face the first time, and the second woman sent me such a withering glare of offended scorn that I was tempted to check my wheels for dog shit. If there had been some, I would have hurled it at her for petty vengeance. It's not difficult to look around the corner before stepping out of an aisle. It's a piece of common courtesy that keeps people safe. Strangely, while most able folks expect me to not only observe this bit of wisdom but possess rear-facing eyeballs and the prescience to know when they're going to stop suddenly, they have absolutely no interest in observing it themselves.
-An elderly woman rolled her cart the wrong way through the checkout line, meandering through our line at a leisurely pace, indifferent to the fact that she was moving against the human traffic.
-We got stuck behind a woman trying to redeem an Ingles coupon. At a Walmart. For ten minutes. Because the Walmart employee didn't realize it was an Ingles coupon and kept trying to enter it into the computer.
So, I'm too tired and blunt-minded to dissect even a bit of pop-lit fluff. I'm too wrung out to fic, and I want to. I just... My period just makes me so sluggish and molish that it's all I can do to sit upright. Does Midol actually relieve the crushing fatigue, or is that claim so much exuberant claptrap?
I know that not everyone who shops at Walmart is a slavering moron, but if pressed by a tribunal of the cultural inquisition, I would confess that stupidity and gross inconsideration for others exist within its spacious aisles in toxic concentrations. I was there for half an hour and witnessed the following incidents:
-As we drove into the lot, there was a minor logjam at the entrance, as an elderly man with mobility issues was struggling out of the passenger seat of his car. After he finally emerged and tottered inside, his companion drove off. Logjam over, right? Ha. The car in front of us moved up a foot and stopped. Why? To let out its passenger as well, a passenger who spryly sauntered into the store.
The passenger in the second car was so damn lazy that they made the driver wait five minutes and pull up so that she could be spared the dreadful inconvenience of walking...a foot. And I'm the lazy, entitled one?
-A four-year-old boy walked headlong into a price-checker pole. BONG. Mind, this isn't a small, slender pole, hewn of ash and tucked discreetly out of sight amid the feminine unmentionables aisle, but a giant, looming steel girder positioned directly in the center of the aisle. BONG. Amazingly, the child was no worse for wear, and when his grandmother explained that the pole held a price checker, he cheerfully chirped, "So you gotta buy me now, Gramma?"
-I was cut off twice by people who couldn't be assed to look as they emerged from an aisle and were shocked, shocked that someone might be rolling down one of the store's main thoroughfares. I nearly received a purse to the face the first time, and the second woman sent me such a withering glare of offended scorn that I was tempted to check my wheels for dog shit. If there had been some, I would have hurled it at her for petty vengeance. It's not difficult to look around the corner before stepping out of an aisle. It's a piece of common courtesy that keeps people safe. Strangely, while most able folks expect me to not only observe this bit of wisdom but possess rear-facing eyeballs and the prescience to know when they're going to stop suddenly, they have absolutely no interest in observing it themselves.
-An elderly woman rolled her cart the wrong way through the checkout line, meandering through our line at a leisurely pace, indifferent to the fact that she was moving against the human traffic.
-We got stuck behind a woman trying to redeem an Ingles coupon. At a Walmart. For ten minutes. Because the Walmart employee didn't realize it was an Ingles coupon and kept trying to enter it into the computer.
So, I'm too tired and blunt-minded to dissect even a bit of pop-lit fluff. I'm too wrung out to fic, and I want to. I just... My period just makes me so sluggish and molish that it's all I can do to sit upright. Does Midol actually relieve the crushing fatigue, or is that claim so much exuberant claptrap?
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