Who Knew the Title Would Be So Prescient, or Nine-Fifty I'll Always Regret

I turned in the vicious, cock-rotting paper today. One down, one to go. Too bad CRP's little brother will be just as unpleasant, a breech-birth travesty I'll long to club to death with my keyboard the instant the misshapen feet begin to emerge. Two more weeks, and I'll be done for the summer.

If you were thinking of checking out Drag Me to Hell because you had fond memories of the corny fun and slapstick carnage of Sam Raimi's Evil Dead Trilogy, don't. It's not funny or scary or even gleefully gross. Aside from one sickly hilarious fight involving false teeth and a stapler between Our Heroine and the Evil Gypsy Hag, it's just flat-out repulsive, with none of Bruce Campbell's hammy charm to offset the horrifying tides of unspeakable effluvium.

( Cut for SPOILERS and Because It's Just NASTY )

At least if I had wiped my ass with that nine-fifty, it would been put to good use. Save your money and go see an intellectually and artistically superior film like Land of the Lost. Better yet, fatten Pixar's deserving coffers by seeing the wonderful Up!, which is the best that movies have to offer.

It's too bad, because there was a germ of a good story there and the opening narrative was deliciously creepy, but it drowned in rivers of vomit and...vomit.

F

Who Knew the Title Would Be So Prescient, or Nine-Fifty I'll Always Regret

I turned in the vicious, cock-rotting paper today. One down, one to go. Too bad CRP's little brother will be just as unpleasant, a breech-birth travesty I'll long to club to death with my keyboard the instant the misshapen feet begin to emerge. Two more weeks, and I'll be done for the summer.

If you were thinking of checking out Drag Me to Hell because you had foud memories of the corny fun and slapstick carnage of Sam Raimi's Evil Dead Trilogy, don't. It's not funny or scary or even gleefully gross. Aside from one sickly hilarious fight involving false teeth and a stapler between Our Heroine and the Evil Gypsy Hag, it's just flat-out repulsive, with none of Bruce Campbell's hammy charm to offset the horrifying tides of unspeakable effluvium.

( Cut for SPOILERS and Because It's Just NASTY )

At least if I had wiped my ass with that nine-fifty, it would been put to good use. Save your money and go see an intellectually and artistically superior film like Land of the Lost. Better yet, fatten Pixar's deserving coffers by seeing the wonderful Up!, which is the best that movies have to offer.

It's too bad, because there was a germ of a good story there and the opening narrative was deliciously creepy, but it drowned in rivers of vomit and...vomit.

F