I Guess Her Broom Snapped Beneath the Weight of Her Steadily Expanding Ass

My mother was supposed to visit today or tomorrow, so I got up, showered, and got dressed. I stayed off the Internet in case she tried to call. Roomie hesitated to cook anything, lest she turn up mid-preparation.

Well, four o'clock rolled around with no sign of my mother, and so I called my uncle to see what was up, since she was staying with him for the holidays.

What tidings did he bring? Mother has decided-without bothering to inform me, natch-that she'd rather come on the weekend before New Year's Eve, when every hotel in town is packed with people.

Thanks, Mom. Once again, she's changed her itinerary to what best suits her, with no consideration for the possibility that Roomie and I might have plans for that weekend. We don't; our social calendars are as inert as a comatose tree sloth, but the point still stands. If my uncle hadn't told me about her change in plans, we'd still be sitting here, twiddling our thumbs and waiting for a phone call that was never coming.

Well, sod her. Roomie and I are going out tomorrow to mall walk and eat, and she can just sit and spin on her flabby, inconsiderate ass.

In happier news, Christmas was quiet but happy. Roomie wrapped our presents even though I knew what they were, and he cooked a small ham, broccoli, and mashed potatoes. I spent the day playing Ratatouille for Gamecube and watching the unrated version of Rob Zombie's Halloween remake. I never even bothered to turn on the computer.

I'm not one for sentimentality, but a few of my Internet friends were on my mind this Christmas, so:

aculeatus, I hope your hols were smashing and restful. I know we've not spoken in months, but you're often in my thoughts. It was through you that I was introduced to the joys of proper tea and good chocolate, and I'm absurdly grateful. To know that someone as steadfastly and profoundly good as you are knows that I'm in the world-and even more astoundingly-cares, makes life more bearable. As sour as my tenure in HL became towards the end, I've never regretted it because without it, I never would've known you.

faylinn_drake, I haven't talked to you much, either. I've stayed away from the IMs because I have a notorious tendency to fixate and blather ad infinitum about worlds I've created inside my head that are of neither use nor interest to anyone else. I've unwittingly alienated folks for whom I once cared very much, and I don't want to add you to that list. You're too funny and sharp and uproariously creative. So, I've been quiet, but I'm so glad you let me peek inside your mental windows from time to time. I'm the pop-eyed, trench-coated Dunlop sufferer with dandruff and a firm grip on her stick, in case you were wondering. OMG, I see you

To everyone else, belated happy holidays.

And a final pimp for Dannybun, who's yet to see a scritch: History Lessons 2/8