An Argument Against D/L That Has Nothing to Do with D/F

I finally finished the SPNfic I've been working on for a record nineteen days and posted to my LJ and the appropriate fic communities and Fanfiction.net. I have yet to post them to IJ or GJ because Lochjournal, my client of choice, chokes if I try to post the second part. As soon as I can cure my rabid case of lazy, I'll cut and paste it to them.

Now I can turn my attention to the first of four canonical CSI:NY fics I've planned for this year. And yes, faylinn_drake, Flackbunny is positively orgasmic at the prospect of getting some attention. I want to start today, but the gremlin in my brain says it's the Fourth of July, and therefore, I should surrender to the sin of utter sloth. I might not start until after my trip to see Ratatouille tomorrow.

Speaking of CSI:NY fandom, the D/L shipping war is absurd. I loathe D/L, but I loathe shipping on crime dramas on principle, as I feel they obscure what was purported to be the focus of the show, and I resent being duped by soap opera googe masquerading as hard-hitting drama. If D/L implodes tomorrow, I will caper. Not because I'm a callous cad who wallows in the disappointment of others, but because the show will be stronger for it.

Frankly, the D/L ship is a fiasco. According to TPTB, I, a reasoning human being, am supposed to believe that fucking on a pool table is the basis for a strong, lasting relationship. Sorry, but no. While I believe that mutual regard should be present between people who have sex together, lest one or both participants be devalued by the act, I understand that this is not always the case. Even when it is the case, good sex is not the only criterion for a stable relationship. Communication is crucial, and Danny and Lindsay have never communicated, period, much less well.

Both of them are selfish, though I would submit that Lindsay is more so because her selfishness is active, whereas Danny's is passive and latent, tied in to his rampant insecurity and sense of inferiority and cast off like radiation from a nuclear pile. In other words, Danny is selfish because he's desperate for stability and approval; Lindsay is selfish because she wants what she wants and doesn't give a damn how she gets it.

I can almost forgive Danny his narcissism because it stems from latent psychological issues that I doubt he's ever addressed, tacitly or explicitly. Lindsay, on the other hand, strikes me as the little girl who never grew up because she was the only girl in a family of boys and thereby accustomed to being the center of the universe.

She has demonstrated monomania at every turn; when Aiden died, she was worried about her relationship with Danny. Aiden was dead and no longer a threat, but she couldn't stop herself. When Flack blew up in "Charge of This Post", she got Danny to take her home rather than hold vigil. Over a scratch. And in "Snow Day", it was less about Danny's ordeal and injury than her guilt over "putting him in that situation". Never mind that Danny made the choice independently of any hinting or cajoling on her part. Her first words to him weren't, "Are you all right?" but "I'm sorry; it's all my fault." Once again, she sees herself as the axis on which the universe rotates. Nothing can happen without her impact upon it.

So we have a co-dependent and a narcissist and a relationship predicated upon a single sexual encounter. Tell me again why I should root for this "couple" or be interested in their fate? It's vulgar and disturbing and has the emotional intimacy of a gynecological exam.

So, yes, I want D/L to fail. I want Mac/Peyton to fail, and if the rumors about a certain lab geek are true, I want that to sink, too. If I wanted to be subjected to painful romances that bludgeon plausibility into the dirt, I'd watch General Hospital. Shipping needs to be set aside in favor of improved internal continuity. If the writers can improve on the basics, I might be willing to grant them leeway, but until they do, I'm quite happy to be the anti-canonshipper stick in the mud.