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It looks as if the worst of Hurricane Katrina is going to skirt us, thank God, but poor Louisiana is going to get pasted. This means that the university will be open and operational for the first day of classes, and I will get to slog through the flooded streets to class. I can only hope town's stellar drainage system proves its mettle once again.
I need to get ficcing if I want to watch the Sci-Fi Channel Original stunner Pterodactyl. I haven't paid much attention to the previews, but I bet the premise goes like this:
A group of ecoterrorists/ecologists/paleontologists/zoologists/college kids on a pond jumper plane crash in the dense rain forest of the Amazon Basin. All fortuitously survive the crash thanks to a temporary suspension of the laws to physics granted the movie by the BMPAA(Bad Motion Picture Association of America), though one of the busty females will have sustained a minor niggling knee sprain that will flare up in the movie's big finish. They will find themselves stranded and opt to hike out of the wilderness in search of a usable cellphone signal.
The group will be led by a mid-name rapper or B-list celebrity despite the fact that the rapper has a better sense of bling bling than South American topography and I last saw the B-lister pimping hemorrhoid creme on Lifetime. Tension will be provided by bickering between the two females in the group, who will be vying for the dangly bits of the male lead, using such trusted tactics as I've Got A Bump on My Butt and My Knee Hurts; Carry me.
But there is An Ancient Evil in the rain forest, and at the forty-minute mark, the pterodactyl will make its first appearance. Not to worry, though; it won't actually be seen until the last twenty minutes. The prop department was on a budget, and even bad CGI is a pretty penny. So, shadows and rustling and trippy Pterovision will do the trick until it's time for the monster's star turn.
One by one, the bird will pick them off, and for some reason, this will create an erotic ambience that will compel the lead and his chosen skank to get it on in a steamy but PG-13 love scene replete with bad music and shots of a JC Penney bra. If we are lucky, the pterodactyl will snatch the love monkeys in mid-coitus, but a more likely scenatio is that the pterodactyl will snatch Skank Scorned, who was watching with envious eyes from behind a nearby tree, thus clearing the way for True Love.
The monster will be destroyed via dynamite the rapper will have pulled from the depths of his baggy pants, and everyone-the lovebirds, like as not, because the rapper would have died in the explosion-will live happily ever after upon being rescued by a survey plane which just happened to be passing by the remote area in which no man has set foot in a thousand years, or so we have been repeatedly told.
The end.
I need to get ficcing if I want to watch the Sci-Fi Channel Original stunner Pterodactyl. I haven't paid much attention to the previews, but I bet the premise goes like this:
A group of ecoterrorists/ecologists/paleontologists/zoologists/college kids on a pond jumper plane crash in the dense rain forest of the Amazon Basin. All fortuitously survive the crash thanks to a temporary suspension of the laws to physics granted the movie by the BMPAA(Bad Motion Picture Association of America), though one of the busty females will have sustained a minor niggling knee sprain that will flare up in the movie's big finish. They will find themselves stranded and opt to hike out of the wilderness in search of a usable cellphone signal.
The group will be led by a mid-name rapper or B-list celebrity despite the fact that the rapper has a better sense of bling bling than South American topography and I last saw the B-lister pimping hemorrhoid creme on Lifetime. Tension will be provided by bickering between the two females in the group, who will be vying for the dangly bits of the male lead, using such trusted tactics as I've Got A Bump on My Butt and My Knee Hurts; Carry me.
But there is An Ancient Evil in the rain forest, and at the forty-minute mark, the pterodactyl will make its first appearance. Not to worry, though; it won't actually be seen until the last twenty minutes. The prop department was on a budget, and even bad CGI is a pretty penny. So, shadows and rustling and trippy Pterovision will do the trick until it's time for the monster's star turn.
One by one, the bird will pick them off, and for some reason, this will create an erotic ambience that will compel the lead and his chosen skank to get it on in a steamy but PG-13 love scene replete with bad music and shots of a JC Penney bra. If we are lucky, the pterodactyl will snatch the love monkeys in mid-coitus, but a more likely scenatio is that the pterodactyl will snatch Skank Scorned, who was watching with envious eyes from behind a nearby tree, thus clearing the way for True Love.
The monster will be destroyed via dynamite the rapper will have pulled from the depths of his baggy pants, and everyone-the lovebirds, like as not, because the rapper would have died in the explosion-will live happily ever after upon being rescued by a survey plane which just happened to be passing by the remote area in which no man has set foot in a thousand years, or so we have been repeatedly told.
The end.