laguera25: Dug from UP! (Default)
( May. 16th, 2014 07:16 pm)
One thousand two hundred and thirty-one words today.

I saw Godzilla today. It was so much fun. There was less Godzilla than I'd like, but the last twenty minutes were amazing, and Ken Wantanabe was a wonderfully nuanced, sympathetic character. Actually, most of the characters were realized and sympathetic, which was an unexpected change from the more customary screaming paste that usually inhabits monster movies.

And oh, my God, GODZILLA KICKED SO MUCH ASS. I was clapping like a goober in the theater, and someone down front called out, "Hell, yeah!" at the grand climax.

laguera25: Dug from UP! (Default)
( May. 3rd, 2014 01:48 am)
Hey, it's tomorrow already!

Unless you are a dedicated fan, do not see Spiderman 2. I love Andrew Garfield's realistic young man!Spidey and find him endearing, but the plot was a bloated, muddled mess of boring teen romance with forty minutes of comic-book kickass shoehorned in. I loved Jamie Foxx's sympathetic Electro and Harry Osborn, but there simply wasn't enough of them to justify the film. As Roomie put it, the movie existed solely to get rid of Gwen Stacy.

What few action sequences there were were amazing, as were the swinging scenes, but gorgeous cinematography does not a solid movie make.

And when you find yourself agreeing with Harry Osborn, you've clearly taken a wrong turn at Albuquerque.

Random thought: Only about five percent of the pornographic scenarios running through my randy little head ever get committed to paper.

So far, my fannish year has been very happy and productive, and I feel mentally invigorated. I love writing my current fics, and alternating helps them stay fresh to me. If I get stuck on Bones, I can take a day to play with Black Hat or Kennex until the logjam clears. The only obstacle I foresee with the ST:AOS fic is transitioning Bones' relationship with the OFC from doctor/patient to romantic interest. There are obvious ethical concerns with bedding and becoming involved with someone you're treating. Roomie does point out, however, that if Bones were expressly forbidden from loving someone in his care, he would never be permitted a relationship with anyone, since anyone on the ship could potentially need medical care. Still, it's a conundrum, to be sure.
Thank you for all your encouragement in my new resolution. It might take a bit of patience, depending on Karl's work and con schedules, but I'm sure it will happen. I'm looking forward to my own Karl story one day, complete with dorky picture in which my eyes will undoubtedly be closed.

Other than that, I've posted some fic and changed various passwords in light of the Heartbleed brouhaha. I also watched a terrible horror flick called Beneath. Bad, so, so bad. The monster fish looked like a fishing lure from Bass Pro Shop on steroids. During the attacks, you could clearly see the rubber jiggling. And the monster fodder were all callow, selfish assbags with no redeeming qualities whatsoever. Except for Johnny, who died after foolishly returning to save his simpering, manipulative crush who had the chance to save him, but chose to let him strangle because reasons. Or something.
laguera25: Dug from UP! (Default)
( Mar. 28th, 2014 10:25 pm)

Well, there go another pair of panties.
laguera25: Dug from UP! (Default)
( Mar. 21st, 2014 07:15 pm)
Saw Muppets Most Wanted today. It was utterly charming and adorable and absolutely worth the money, which is a rarity in today's world of fatuous borefests. And the Monsters U short before the feature was icing on the cake. If you're feeling embittered and jaded, this movie will temporarily restore your faith in humanity.
laguera25: Dug from UP! (Default)
( Mar. 15th, 2014 05:18 pm)
We saw Need for Speed. There was nothing groundbreaking, and it was tedious in spots and wholly undeserving of a two-and-a-half-hour runtime, but there were races and explosions and pretty cars, and Aaron Paul was a nice guy, so eh. I don't think it was worth the time, but there are worse ways to spend an afternoon, and sitting through it gives me capital to use with Roomie if Karl Urban's new movie actually opens here in August.

Hi, Bones!
Roomie set up Firefox with ABP this afternoon and is much happier. He couldn't turn IE off fast enough.

We saw 300: Rise of an Empire today. The first one was a blood orgy interspersed with boobs and manporn, and this was more of the same. Whereas the first was a veritable manpetizer buffet, this one was sadly lacking in scintillating manflesh. Themysticles tried, but he just couldn't hold a candle to Gerard Butler in the badass sex on stilts department, and the script, which was largely a dull rehash of the original, made him look like a pale carbon copy.

And why is it that the alleged "beautiful women" always look like washed-out, middle-aged crack addicts? Eva Green looked like ass. At least her character was a warrior on par with the men.

The sex scene was utterly gratuitous and went on FOREVER. It was amusing to listen to all the old people in the theater getting scandalized by the sweaty, naked thrusting, though.
laguera25: Dug from UP! (Default)
( Feb. 15th, 2014 11:04 am)
In a bid to reset my sleep cycle, I stayed up for twenty-three hours with the help of LoZ: Twilight Princess. It seems to have worked, as I am awake during daylight hours. Glad as I am to be on a more normal schedule, sleep deprivation sucks. I get nauseated, and waiting to hurl while you're watching Robocop in a darkened theater is most decidedly not awesome.

Robocop was all right. Whereas the original focused on Robocop regaining his humanity, this one focused on him fighting to keep it. It was a bravura move that should have been more gripping than it was, but Murphy's family was so insipid that I wished they had been killed in a tragic manhole mishap. The epic love between Claire and Alex was patently unbelievable. The kid was more interesting, truth be told, and even that subplot tried to cash in credit the writers hadn't earned.

Gary Oldman as the morally conflicted doctor and Michael Keaton as the conniving CEO of Omnicorp carried the movie farther than the weak writing and mediocre lead should have gone. The original, cheesetastic as it was, is in no danger from this glossy, fatuous retread.

Ah, nostalgia. I'd forgotten just how gleefully violent the original was. Murphy's death scene was almost unbearable to watch.
laguera25: Dug from UP! (Default)
( Feb. 12th, 2014 12:48 am)
So much for my bold prediction about writing more than six hundred and nineteen words yesterday. In my dubious defense, my sleep schedule has been a disaster for weeks, and trying to correct it has made me a groggy, half-witted dullard. Since I'm writing this just after midnight, you can clearly see how well I'm doing in my quest to sleep like a normal human being.

Roomie and I saw The Lego Movie yesterday. I wasn't expecting much, but oh, my God, so cute! So stupidly, endearing cute. The plot is ridiculous and mostly there to get from one improbability to the next, but the journey is exhilarating. It doesn't take itself seriously; in fact, it feels like the creators just turned the actors loose in the studio with a hearty "Have fun, kids!" And they did. Liam Neeson as Good Cop/Bad Cop was instant love. I will cut a bitch for a copy of the DVD. It's such a gleeful tribute to childish hope and the limitless power of imagination. See this movie. And if you're not at least humming "Everything Is Awesome" all day afterwards, you're an MX.
Out of the Blue--SPOILERS )

Karl Urban won a Qantas award for his performance here. I haven't seen the other nominees' work, but I can't say he didn't deserve the award. I wish American film and television would let him show his range. I love Action!Karl, but multifaceted Karl would be lovely, too. When he's not concentrating on keeping his natural accent in check, he turns in some truly wonderful work.
I saw The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug this evening.

The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug--MAJOR SPOILERS )

Overall, I liked it much more than the first installment, but they could've trimmed thirty minutes and lost nothing.
laguera25: Dug from UP! (Default)
( Dec. 6th, 2013 07:44 pm)
I saw Out of the Furnace this afternoon. It was the longest two hours of my life. It wasn't terrible by any stretch, but it had no discernible point. Most movies, no matter how incompetent or lazy, have a story to tell or a perspective to present. This one just tread water for two hours, a talking still life photo. Life blows cheddary monkey nuts, you say? Well, thanks for the newsflash. It felt like desperate, pretentious Oscar-bait, and the subplot with Zoe Saldana was pointless. Like most of the movie, it went absolutely nowhere, and frankly, I don't have a lot of sympathy for someone who doesn't have the balls to tell their incarcerated partner they're dropping them to get knocked up by the good-hearted local sheriff who carries a torch for them. Maybe a case of baby rabies is an excuse to end a relationship, but it's not an excuse to hide its end from the other partner. That's cowardice, and I don't give a damn for your dewy-eyed pining.

Don't see this movie if you're looking for a rollicking vengeance quest. There is one. Kind of. But not before one hour and forty-five minutes of unrelenting nut punches and grinding depression.
laguera25: Dug from UP! (Default)
( Dec. 2nd, 2013 11:50 pm)
Frozen--SPOILERS )

A rare A in a year of overhyped, mediocre movies.
I went to watch the final episode of Breaking Bad S1, only to discover that it didn't work. All I got was a black screen. Dammit! I've tried to find it online, but I'm not giving Youtube money, and I don't trust torrents. I tried, but no dice. Feh. I found an episode synopsis, at least, so I won't be lost when I start S2.

Ooh, ooh! I watched The Bell Witch Haunting last night. It lasted seventy-four years and had four separate places where it could have ended, but oh, no. They belabored that baby into the ground. Found-footage movies can work, but more often than not, I find myself too busy watching an actor pretend not to act to be drawn into the story. No, it's not a D-list actor! It's just your average suburban dad. See? See how average? See how badly I act when expressing fear or panic? See how severely I overcompensate with my feigned terribleness? Real people. Totally real.

I miss the days when fans earnestly debated the authenticity of the so-called "lost tapes". It was much scarier when there was a chance, however infinitesimal, that the haunting/murder spree/demonic possession was real.
I am a tired bunny. Most of the time, being a night owl in the boonies presents no problems, but today, my neighbor decided to do yardwork shortly after I went to bed. I was roused from my gummy-eyed slumber by the windy bellow of a leaf blower a mere five hours after I went to bed. The man has a right to tend his yard in the morning, and it's my fault for staying up so late, but I can't deny that I entertained groggy fantasies of bludgeoning his leaf blower into eternal silence. Urgh.

I watched Halloween last night to cap off the holiday. I don't care if younguns today don't find it scary and dismiss it as cheesy and predictable; I will love it forever. It and the original NOES were my introduction to the genre--the first kiss in a long and gentle affair--and I will always adore it. What these jaded whippersnappers don't get is that the movie is predictable now because it invented the tropes, narrative sleights-of-hand, and camera tricks to which they are so numbly accustomed then. It was audacious and groundbreaking once, and without it, the horror landscape would be a very different place.

We watched Monsters University as a fluffy palate cleanser after all the blood and terror. Don! Art! Squishy! The supporting cast carried the movie this time around. While I sympathized with his motives, Mike's incessant, emo whining was stale this time around. Give me Minnesota-nice, older-student Don and hippie, fuzzy Art over the chronic whinger any day. Nitpick aside, I liked the message of finding an alternate path to your dreams if the first one doesn't work. It's a timely message for a lot of kids being herded down a narrow, predetermined path by their neurotic helicopter parents.
two hundred and seventy words since last update, and with them, BaBR IV is done.

I watched The Blair Witch Project the day before yesterday. As the granddaddy of the found-footage subgenre of horror, it deserves a place in the modern pantheon, but this is a film that doesn't hold up on subsequent viewings. Its success hinges on the tension of not knowing what might happen next or when the witch of the wood will reveal herself, and once you know that the witch never appears, and that the movie is a lot of trudging through the damp wood and shivering in tents, the tension breaks, never to be recovered. I spent most of this viewing thinking of how much I hated Heather and wished Josh, the only decent human being among them, would have told her to go fuck herself and gone back to the car the minute she tried to go off-trail.

The stick men in the woods and the final scene in the abandoned house still pack a wallop, though.

Yesterday, I watched Abominable, a delightfully cracktastic indie about a paralyzed dude taking on the cheesiest sasquatch monster ever. It was sublime, the best of the hokiest worst, and I will love it forever just because the paralyzed dude gets to be the hero and the abusive PCA gets his comeuppance. Got your face crunched by the sasquatch, did you, asshole? That'll learn you to backhand the paraplegic out of his wheelchair because he...touched your arm. Ha.

This baby was a throwback to the best of the 80s cheese. Nubile coeds getting crunched by a creature that looked like an enterprising effects artist stuffed a hose up a My Pet Monster and inflated him to the size of a Macy's parade float. An improbable climax. An inexplicably douchey sheriff who ignores repeated calls for help. It's an unapologetic romp through the tropey tulips.

The one sour note came when Preston, the bewheeled hero, interrupted the grand climax to explain to the terrified teenager he has rescued just how he came be be in his wheelchair. NEWSFLASH: She doesn't give a fuck. She's just seen three of her friends crunched like meaty Cheetos by Junior Gorg on steroids and narrowly escaped the same fate. You could have been paralyzed in a freak porno accident involving a trapeze and a misplaced elephant boner for all she cares. She just wants to get away from the monster creeping not-so-stealthily around your house, but instead, she has to kneel and listen to you recount your trauma and deliver a treacly speech about miracles and second chances and survival. Suck wind and roll your ass, you moron.

Minor quibble aside, I love this movie and will pet it and love it and call it George.
laguera25: Dug from UP! (Default)
( May. 4th, 2013 11:14 pm)
One thousand and one words today. That makes three thousand and ten words for May.

Iron Man 3 was a dazzling, energetic movie. The basic plot was your standard superhero fare, but there was a warmth and zest that was lacking in its predecessors, especially 2, which had its moments but was a jumbled mess. Rourke acquitted himself well as Vanko, but the plot was haphazard, and as far as vengeance quests go, his was rather sedate.

In contrast, the players in 3 were clearly having a glorious lark with the story. That's not to say they didn't respect it or take their roles seriously. They did. They just didn't take it or themselves so seriously that there was no room for humor or joie de vivre. And for all its familiar tropes and narrative undergirding, it wasn't a paint-by-numbers superhero movie. Pepper was a damsel in distress, and she was afraid, but she wasn't helpless, and Tony was a hero, but so were Pepper and Happy and Rhodey and a ten-year-old boy and a grieving mother. It was hopeful and bombastic and everything a good superhero movie should be, and I'm not surprised in the least that it's making money by the bargeload.

And both Ben Kingsley and Guy Pearce were having a very, very good time.

SPOILER for Iron Man 3 )
The Wire S1--SPOILERS )

And oh, Bubbles, you might be a filthy, tottering, homeless junkie, but I like you, and I have a feeling that it's not going to end well for you. This show just screams, "ROCKS FALL, EVERYONE DIES!! AND THOSE WHO DON'T ARE HORRIBLY MAIMED!!"

I watched A History of Violence as well. Meh. It was good, but if I had watched it in the theater, I would've been pissed. The trailers peddled it as Ed Harris, big bad, versus Viggo Mortensen, local goody two-shoes. Ed Harris was in the movie for thirty minutes, and for all the violence, it turned out to be a movie about marriage, love, and self-determination and identity. Heady stuff, mind you, and an interesting intellectual exercise, but not what I was expecting when I popped it into the DVD player.


laguera25: Dug from UP! (Default)


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