Bored, so bored. Bored, bored, bored. I haven't written in two days. I want to, but as soon as I park myself in front of the keyboard, I can't be assed to do anything but watch insipid Youtube videos. What was once so effortless and fun now seems like such a grinding slog. I don't know when or why that happened, but it did. Fandom isn't as fun as I remember it. Maybe it's because LJ and its attendant culture of conversation and feedback and mutual squee tempered by the occasional vigorous wank is dying. It is
dying; if you doubt, you have merely to peruse fail_fandomanon
to see the alarming number of fans who either claim that those who produce in fandom owe those who consume fannish output with no expectation of feedback, gratitude, or meaningful interaction, or who excuse their entitlement or laziness with pathetic, mewling cries of, "I didn't thank my fest/exchange writers because I have anxiety issues, oh, noes!" Bullshit. You didn't thank them because you didn't think you had to, and if your anxiety is so crippling that you cannot type "Thank you," into the comment box, then you shouldn't be signing up for a fest where feedback is the expected fannish currency and the established social norm. "But I wanted to participate!" you say? Fine. Then buck up and say the bare minimum. I'm sure your author wanted that feedback, too, but they got the shaft when you weenied out because typing was soooo hard. And who's to say that they didn't swallow a huge lump of insecurity and angst when they wrote you that fic? Why is your
anxiety about leaving feedback more important than their fear of getting it wrong or disappointing their recipient? You got what you wanted out of the deal the minute your fic was posted. So why is it too much to ask that you nut up and say thank you like a decent human being?
In case you haven't noticed, I'm tired of people co-opting real illnesses as an excuse to be lazy, ungrateful assholes. And no, I don't have a dog in this fight. The last exchange I did was six or seven years ago. I signed up for a second, defaulted, and never signed up for another because it wasn't fair to my potential recipient that I couldn't get myself together and honor my commitment. I know how much it sucks to shout into the wind, and I don't want to be that asshole for anyone else.
Maybe I should just bite the bullet and get a Tumblr, but I have the sneaking suspicion that I would be drummed out within a week for writing something problematic or saying something -ist.