laguera25: Dug from UP! (Default)
( Jan. 14th, 2017 08:08 pm)
Slow, slow, slow the fall.

A quiet day today. We've scarcely moved for more than a week. Neither one of us is keen to mingle with people who have shown themselves to be so brutally ignorant of the workings and the history of the country they purport to revere and for which they claim they would gladly die and so savagely, gleefully cruel to those who are not them. The ticket taker at the movie theater who once told Roomie she admired him for taking me out in public no longer seems so benign, a clueless little old lady just trying to be kind. Or the old man who pulled up alongside Roomie in the parking lot at the grocery store and told him he was "a good man, brother" because he saw him putting my wheelchair into the van. If it is kindness, it is kindness of the sweetest poison, a hint of a sense of deep and self-satisfied superiority. They are better than me simply because; this is a truth the world has reaffirmed for them, and so they can happily afford to condescend and call it kindness.

Better to stay inside with our stockpile of food and simple entertainments, save the gas and the money and the effort. At least here I don't have to feel hunted, like an intrusion tolerated by my superiors, a stranger in a strange land. I wonder how long it will be before the few ADA requirements that are regularly observed are ignored or neglected because hey, they don't have to care anymore. The President said so. Until what is implicit becomes explicit. We don't serve your kind here. No room. No tickets. No accommodations. No ramp. No accessible toilets. No need for these things because you are invisible, irrelevant. You don't matter, and you never really did.

Roomie sympathizes because he is good, because he loves me, but he does not understand. He can't. He is safe. He is visible.

I am quiet. I am lonely. I am afraid.
.

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